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Thursday, November 6, 2014

Spider Venom & Kangaroos: What the Hell is Going on with the LPGA Australian Open? (Previously posted for ESPN Las Vegas' blog)

(Previously posted on February 14, 2013, for my part of the ESPN Las Vegas' blog)

 - Stefan Postles of Getty Images

I realize kangaroos aren't one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, but man, if you were there, wouldn't you be wondering if they were?

The photo above was taken a few hours back in Australia during the LPGA Women's Australian Open. In the middle of the tournament, the place was overrun by kangaroos and joeys. While there are plenty of rules around gophers and other rodents, they seem to be particularly lacking info on how to handle a marsupial delay. Cute as they are from a distance, these guys can put up a fight and are better kept across a field. (cue old Looney Tunes cartoon.)

According to stories floating around, this isn't the first odd incident of this tournament. Seems one of the players - Daniela Holmqvist - was bitten by what was thought to be a Black Widow (turns out it was one of its equally dangerous cousins), and the player whipped out a golf tee, cut the bite area open, and squeezed the venom out. Then, though she was told the venom could kill a small child in 30 minutes, she went directly (wait for it...) back to playing. After the game was done for the day and she was four strokes light of qualifying, she finally sought out a doctor. That's commitment.

I have to say these ladies are definitely being tested and tried. They are tough. They're swinging clubs and tees around like Lara Croft sans the amped up iPads and Doc Martens. Still, if I were these players, I'd keep my head up. I'm a wee bit superstitious. If frogs started falling from the sky spontaneously, I'd be getting my zombie equipment together.

Still, I will say am looking forward to the movie they're bound to make of this whole thing. Zombies be damned; creepy arachnids and hoarding marsupials make for great Wes Craven material. Well... maybe Wes Anderson.

In any case, good luck, ladies. We're rooting for you to survive the Apocalypse. You're welcome in our bunker any time!

(originally posted:

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