Q: How to Catch A Liar? The Lance Armstrong Story (Previously posted on ESPN Las Vegas blog.)

(Previously posted on January 15, 2013, as my part of the ESPN Las Vegas blog.)

A:...have Lance Armstrong for dinner.

Always tell the truth: it's a lot easier to remember when people come asking," my Grandpa Bailey always said.

I sure wish Lance Armstrong had listened to my old grandpa.

Just a few minutes ago, Twitter went nuts with word that Lance Armstrong had apologized to his staff after having taped an Oprah Winfrey show. Rumor is he's finally 'fessed up to having put junk in his trunk to help him win repeatedly. First word out of the camp is that his supporters are still just that - his supporters. They are rallying around him - yet again - in spite of the fact that he's lied to them, officials, the public, his family, and his own grandpa repeatedly. It's ridiculous.

Firstly, let me say I don't much care about the whole steroids thing. I don't. We don't put astrixes besides the names of Hall of Famers who benefited from new workout techniques not available to Jackie Robinson or Babe Ruth. We don't force teams to throw out fresh coaching or pretend players didn't learn anything by watching tapes of their predecessors. We don't hem and haw about adding new records of athletes that used technology to study how better to turn or squat on the slopes. We accept these advances for what they are, moves towards even better athletes.

Prescribed medicines are used repeatedly and without any notice. Steroids, used properly, can have phenomenal restorative properties. Those are just facts. Sure, some medicines make it so you have side effects that give a player an advantage. However, without and training, steroids just make you fat and make it easier to stay up for the Late Late Show. Just ask my cousin Carter.

Like anything good, in the wrong hands, it can turn to something awful. Even something as benign as glue can turn a brain to mush and an art project into a pillow. That's not what bothers me. No, for me, it's the lying.

Mr. Armstrong seems to be pretty darn comfortable making other people uncomfortable. There are thousands of people who have supported him and stood up for him. He's shook a finger and said it wasn't him and tried to make others feel bad for even putting the question to him. How dare they, he says. Well, here's how they dare. You lied. You keep on lying. You only admit to lying when put in the most excruciating of spots (let me be clear, it wasn't when his staff or his family were put in a bad way. No, no.... The lies kept flowing out of his mouth like pudding. No, it was only when he reached what has seemingly been the very last problem for himself. That's just selfish served on a platter.)

I don't fancy liars, if you haven't guessed. Honestly, if Mr. Armstrong got up in front of the lot and said, "Yes, I did this. I did this because I think it's wrong that we're not allowed to do this," then likely I would think he was brave. He'd have recognized his mistakes and focused the attention back to the real issue of allowing performance enhancing drugs to be used in sports without the currently required burning stake. Not to mention, he'd probably be in a heap less trouble and his foundation and the people running it wouldn't have contributors falling off like dandruff from a teenage boy's scalp.

Now, I haven't seen Mr. Armstrong's interview with Ms. Winfrey. I could be wrong. He could be getting up in front of the whole world to yet again say he hadn't done anything wrong. But then, why would you have to apologize to your staff for something like that? Why would you even need to?

By now, Mr. Armstrong, maybe you've realized it might have been easier to stick with the truth. it would have been easier to remember. That and your family and staff wouldn't feel like you've hooked them to your hitch and went for a backroads ride. I'm just saying...


(originally posted: http://www.espn1100.com/Q--How-to-Catch-A-Liar--The-Lance-Armstrong-Story/11190684?pid=289643)


copyright - All rights to the work posted on this site are retained by Cass Van Gelder. If you'd like to use some of my work, please ask. To do so, the permissions must be spelled out in writing...from me...I mean it. I have horribly mean cats; don't make me use them.

Brent Musburger: The Feminist Pendulum Swing and Other Fun Things to Worry Over (Previously posted on ESPN Las Vegas blog)

(Previously posted on January 11, 2013, as my part of the ESPN Las Vegas blog)

When any extreme is corrected on a pendulum, the equal but opposite extreme takes its place. With each swing, the movements become gradually smaller, eventually finding its way to center.

By now, everyone has heard about this - ESPN Announcer Brent Musburger's comment on Miss Alabama Katherine Webb's looks . He also collectively commented on A.J. McCarron's mother, Dee Dee McCarron, but no one seems to be wrapping her up in this non-issue tornado. Lucky woman. She's actually dealing with the correct amount of frou-frou surrounding comments like these; in other words, nothing.

Having been born and bred in the midst of "consciousness raising" and bursts of feminism throughout the South, I am well-versed in the shenanigans that make even the most closeted feminist put her roast on low, take off her apron, and snatch up a picket sign (or in these more modern times, take to their Twitter accounts.)

I actually went about this in opposite. I heard all the opinions about the clip before actually clicking on the numerous links to listen to the source. By the end of it, I was in shock.

Before you furiously open a window to start your anonymous angry retort, let me say this: I don't get it either. I was shocked anyone even bothered to mention it twice, let alone let it spin into this atrocious non-issue. (seriously...? This is how people want to spend their copious free time? Aren't there children in Africa that need to be saved from diamond mines or something like that?)

In my opinion, Musburger stated a fact that sounded more like an opinion, and maybe that's the real issue here. Miss Alabama is, you guessed it, beautiful. (Imagine that, right? It was a total shock to me, too. I mean, honestly, I really started buying into the advertisement-disguised-as-a-movie, "Miss Congeniality"'s idea that these were all scholarship events where girls worry themselves over pizza slices and sound-bite-sized answers.) And Musburger took that time to comment on it, along with another commentator who joined in. Musburger finished by jokingly advising young Alabama boys to start throwing the ball around with Dad so they could be as lucky as the quarterbacks. Honestly, that was the only comment I came close to having an issue with...but I have other things to do with my time than complain about it...like my job, my schoolwork, raising my kids, and catching up on "Nashville."

Speaking of which, let's back this up juuust a bit. Suppose Musburger had been perusing the GMAT scores of Auburn graduates while waiting for the next play and came across Ms. Webb's enormously gorgeous score. He then blurts out how really smart she is and how lucky A.J. McCarron is. Do we have an issue then?

Anyway, in these current times where sitcoms are filled with dopey husbands with condescending and much-too-smart-for-them wives, we seem to be comfortable batting at anyone - even a complimenting announcer - not because he actually did anything wrong but because when the pendulum swung against us (meaning women), we weren't allowed to say anything. Now, though, we are constantly up in arms about this stuff. We (meaning everyone) are hypersensitive and are allowing horrible behavior (meaning by the people who criticized Musburger.) We are teaching people that it's okay to treat people (meaning men) the way we were (meaning women). Wasn't the point that we didn't want anyone treated like this?

Long and short of it, I'm waiting for the pendulum swing to right itself and settle in the middle. Right after the Oompah-Lompahs deliver my breakfast...with toast.

 (original post: http://www.espn1100.com/Brent-Musburger-The-Feminist-Pendulum-Swing-and-Ot/11190684?archive=1&pid=288967)





copyright - All rights to the work posted on this site are retained by Cass Van Gelder. If you'd like to use some of my work, please ask. To do so, the permissions must be spelled out in writing...from me...I mean it. I have horribly mean cats; don't make me use them.

Pic: NASCAR: Hot Chicks Added to The Pit Crew (Previously posted on ESPN Las Vegas blog)

(Previously posted on February 26, 2013, for my part of the ESPN Las Vegas blog.)

Christmas Abbott - Photo by Warwick Saint

 

     She weighs less than my Golden Retriever, yet she could take him and my other two dogs in one hand and lift them over her head. Badass? Well, that's what they're calling Christmas Abbott, the newest member of Jennifer Jo Cobb's NASCAR pit crew in the Camping World Truck Series. For Sunday's Daytona 500, she shadowed the Michael Waltrip racing crew as he slid into 22^nd place. I'm not overly familiar with racing terms, but I'm guessing shadowing is like being an intern of sorts. A badass intern, mind you.

     She's not new to the sash of Miss Badass. At 22, she followed her mother over to Iraq when she (mom) joined up. (Apparently, it runs in the family.) Then later, she became one of the few head trainers for CrossFit (which, for all you P90Xers, you're playing with five and dime plastic pistols compared to the AK-47 roughness these CrossFit people take on. And she was one of the top people doing it. Yikers.)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ-PrnSVjIk

 

     From all that's told, she's not really seeking the spotlight, but it seems destined to find her. Between the tattoos and the rippling muscles, she's hard to miss. Network reality programs are chomping at the bit to get her to let them follow her around. I'm never a fan of people who let cameras catch their every telephone call, pregnancy test, and bowel movement, but I can understand her motivation. She won't get the same dollars as the guys – or even the girls – on the track. I don't know that the retirement plan for the pit crew is anything she's dreamed about, so having some TV dollars to rest on later can't suck.

     It's got to be a sock to the jaw for Danica Patrick after she's loaded her trophy case based on her talent and determination, even if Sunday did end in an eighth place finish. However, Danica's fairly buddy-buddy with a spotlight that follows her because of her glossy dark hair and wicked toned thighs. Anyone that takes on a Go Daddy commercial in their free time (firstly with beavers, then with random girls who strip and gyrate - as she reminds one not to scratch her car) understands the delicate balance between keeping them interested in your talent without focusing only on how you dressed it.

     Still, when a newcomer who's not even on the track starts stealing the spotlight, it's got to sting a little. It's kind of like being a Broadway star only to have autograph hounds crowding the prop girl after the show. 

      NASCAR is just around the corner with its color, speed, and crashes, but if you see the cameras focusing more on the pit rather than the track, you'll know why: Christmas has come to town.

Tip from Eric Adelson's blog.

(original post: http://www.espn1100.com/Pic--NASCAR--Hot-Chicks-Added-to-The-Pit-Crew/11190684?pid=297933)


copyright - All rights to the work posted on this site are retained by Cass Van Gelder. If you'd like to use some of my work, please ask. To do so, the permissions must be spelled out in writing...from me...I mean it. I have horribly mean cats; don't make me use them.

Spider Venom & Kangaroos: What the Hell is Going on with the LPGA Australian Open? (Previously posted for ESPN Las Vegas' blog)

(Previously posted on February 14, 2013, for my part of the ESPN Las Vegas' blog)

I realize kangaroos aren't one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, but man, if you were there, wouldn't you be wondering if they were?

The photo above was taken a few hours back in Australia during the LPGA Women's Australian Open. In the middle of the tournament, the place was overrun by kangaroos and joeys. While there are plenty of rules around gophers and other rodents, they seem to be particularly lacking info on how to handle a marsupial delay. Cute as they are from a distance, these guys can put up a fight and are better kept across a field. (cue old Looney Tunes cartoon.)

According to stories floating around, this isn't the first odd incident of this tournament. Seems one of the players - Daniela Holmqvist - was bitten by what was thought to be a Black Widow (turns out it was one of its equally dangerous cousins), and the player whipped out a golf tee, cut the bite area open, and squeezed the venom out. Then, though she was told the venom could kill a small child in 30 minutes, she went directly (wait for it...) back to playing. After the game was done for the day and she was four strokes light of qualifying, she finally sought out a doctor. That's commitment.
 

I have to say these ladies are definitely being tested and tried. They are tough. They're swinging clubs and tees around like Lara Croft sans the amped up iPads and Doc Martens. Still, if I were these players, I'd keep my head up. I'm a wee bit superstitious. If frogs started falling from the sky spontaneously, I'd be getting my zombie equipment together.

Still, I will say am looking forward to the movie they're bound to make of this whole thing. Zombies be damned; creepy arachnids and hoarding marsupials make for great Wes Craven material. Well... maybe Wes Anderson.
 

In any case, good luck, ladies. We're rooting for you to survive the Apocalypse. You're welcome in our bunker any time!

(originally posted: http://www.espn1100.com/Spider-Venom-Kangaroos-What-the-Hell-is-Going-on-w/11190684?archive=1&pid=296736)


copyright - All rights to the work posted on this site are retained by Cass Van Gelder. If you'd like to use some of my work, please ask. To do so, the permissions must be spelled out in writing...from me...I mean it. I have horribly mean cats; don't make me use them.

Getting Smoked (Previously posted for ESPN Las Vegas' blog)

(originally posted on January 28, 2013 as my part of the ESPN Las Vegas blog. The video cannot be posted on this site nor linked because it was removed. I will attempt to link to similar ones)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuR_CVcM1tA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1ALtcAO69M

The 1950's must have been a time - Mad Men-type ad men constantly coming at you from every angle, trying to just get you to pick it, try it on, see how sexy a cigarette felt in your hand. It was a time of ignorance - and let's be clear, it wasn't stupidity. Stupidity is when you don't have the faculties to comprehend something. Ignorance is just not having some facts.

So all these people - even Lucille Ball - were touting how great it was, how fantastic it was, how it made all your troubles go away. Who wouldn't take it up?

What's interesting to me as how hardcore these companies went after their audience. You'll see in the videos how one company is talking about how mild their flavors are because of their fantastic filters, while the next one is talking about how you get the full flavor from theirs because they DON'T have a filter. They were getting people coming and going.

Coincidentally, yesterday a huge report came out saying how women were finally catching up to men in one big area - lung cancer. How's that for progress? It also says that apparently we're stubborn, too, because once we start, we are the least likely to stop. Yea!

When I was a kid, Virginia Slim went after the coming-out feminist who wanted to take her place in the world and still appear feminine. Our next door neighbor lady went through them like they contained oxygen from her home planet. My little sister, only four at the time, would go into the neighbor lady's gravel driveway and pick up her lipsticked butts, pretending she was smoking while walking a catwalk....at four...that's how easily we were persuaded.
 

My own mother went back and forth between shaking her finger at smokers in enclosed cars with children in the back to puffing on the slim sticks until finally she quit for a solid eight years. It wasn't until a trip back to visit her own mother sent her right out onto the carport, dragging on one cigarette after another like she'd just stepped out of a Kent commercial herself. From that point on, she gave up trying to quit pretty much and even after her cancer came back, she couldn't stop.

After she died, her apartment was so drenched with the smell of the cheap generic cigarettes she had been reduced to on her limited salary, that we sprayed parts of the place down, put baking soda in boxes, and set books and furniture out on the lawn, just to get the first layer of Ode De Ashtray out of her things. Even two years later when I opened a Ziploc-ed bag with a shirt of hers in it that I wanted to preserve, the first thing that hit me was the familiar stench of cheap cigarettes. Not exactly what you'd like to be remembered by.
 

I've never done it myself, but I understand. Addiction of any size is hard to kick, whether it comes in a 40 oz. liquid form or a crushed leaves made to look like a thin white stick. Just remember, whether it's tomorrow, next month or twenty years from now, no matter how much they push you, taunt or tempt you, it's just not the way you're going to want to be remember.

(original post: http://www.espn1100.com/VIDEO--Getting-Smoked-/11190684?pid=292350)


copyright - All rights to the work posted on this site are retained by Cass Van Gelder. If you'd like to use some of my work, please ask. To do so, the permissions must be spelled out in writing...from me...I mean it. I have horribly mean cats; don't make me use them.

Manti Te'o - Catfish, Red Herring... It's What's For Dinner (Previously posted for ESPN Las Vegas' blog)

(originally posted on January 28, 2013 for my part of the ESPN Las Vegas blog.)

Honestly...can we please stop talking about this thing like it matters?

Apparently not... or so says Dr. Phil. He's decided he just must have Ronaiah Tuiasosopo on his show. Don't know who that is? Shame on you. He's only the second tier character in the soap opera we call the Manti Te'o Incident.

He's decided he wants to go on Dr. Phil and talk about what he to Manti Te'o and his (wait for it) obsession with Manti...right...like we couldn't have guessed that. I mean, seriously, four years you keep this hoax up. If that's not obsession then we need to rewrite the definition.

Truthfully, I was agog why no one chose to focus on this little puppy long ago. He's the real story. I mean, who does that? Junior high cheerleader wannabes? He's one Pixie Stix away from dressing up a gerbil in Christmas clothes and calling it he's new girlfriend.
 

Obsession is a dangerous thing. Think about it... for four years he kept up this hoax and played with this guy's emotions and then embarrassed him publicly when it finally came out (Not many people even knew the name of the alleged perpetrator until just recently (Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, by the way) nor has anyone bothered to get him in front of a microphone to ask him why in the world he would ever do something so mean. Until now...

Previously, it seemed like it might have something to do with his family. One of his uncles was quoted on CNN as saying,

"It definitely takes two to tango. This is not just a matter of blaming it all on Ronaiah."

Wow... nice way to take responsibility there. The uncle also later says,

"And if not for this young man and his strength and family with God, he would have done something stupid."

You mean like torture an acquaintance for four years while pretending to be a woman online... or does he have something worse up his sleeve?
 

The more I hear of this story, the more I think fiction is entirely unnecessary. Why would you need it when the truth is so much more crazy?

(original post: http://www.espn1100.com/Manti-Te-o-Catfish-Red-Herring-It-s-What-s-For-Din/11190684?archive=1&pid=291448)

copyright - All rights to the work posted on this site are retained by Cass Van Gelder. If you'd like to use some of my work, please ask. To do so, the permissions must be spelled out in writing...from me...I mean it. I have horribly mean cats; don't make me use them.

Manti Te'o - Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places (Previously posted for ESPN Las Vegas' blog)

(originally posted on January 22, 2013 as my part of the ESPN Las Vegas blog.)

The 15 minutes of notice that should have been devoted to the Manti Te'o story has well expired and our collective heads should have already turned to the latest Kardashian pregnancy or sex video tape (or both, in their case.). However, I woke up yesterday to a fine Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday here in Las Vegas only to hear the radio blasting about how Manti has decided (in all his agent's wisdom) to prolong this horribly painful and embarrassing event into, that's right, and even more painful and embarrassing event (I'm sure this is in his agent's mind a great way to "forward Manti's brand." Whatever.)

For those of you just coming in on this story, Manti Te'o claims he was the victim of a catfish scheme. "Catfish" in this context comes from a 2010 documentary by the same name, which follows a Facebook-induced relationship that turns out to be an elaborate hoax. It's called catfish because one of the characters says when live cod were shipped here from Asia, the cod would be sluggish and this made their meat "mushy." When fishermen put catfish in with the cod, they found it kept them active. The character states that the person behind the hoax is like the catfish, keeping other people active in their lives. (The documentary makers have their own issues with truthfulness which causes one to pause.) After figuring out or being told his online love and her subsequent death were all a hoax, Manti went about lying to cover up the aforementioned painful and embarrassing event.

Firstly, let me say, lying is lying is lying. I'm not a fan of how Manti decided to cover the tracks of this unusual relationship (actually, can we call it unusual in this day and age? My own brother-in-law found true love one state away through the magic of the Internet and it's worked out fine.). I understand Manti was embarrassed during the relationship and lied to make it seem less weird. When he found out it was a hoax, he lied about it some more...because that worked so well the first time. And now, he's struggling a bit with why people won't just simply believe this thing happened to him. Look, maybe Manti missed out on his fair share of Saved by The Bell, but even my 12-year-old understands this was not the smartest thing to do. Unless you're lying to some serial killer in order to save your life, I think Manti helped prove that lying - even when well meaning - really just never, ever works in your favor. (And, yes, Mr. Armstrong, that was pointed at you...)
 

The main thing people keep going back and forth on is whether or not it's plausible Manti knew what was going on or was in on it. From what little I've read and heard about this story and from my perspective, it's nobody's business but Manti's. However, he and his ill-advising agent are making it our business by furthering this story that would have been dead this week were it not for the fact Manti's going on TV with Katie Couric. That's crazy. Up until now, Manti might have made it through this life with this story only making a slight imprint on the pages of his life. Now, it'll be branded in there. And I hate to tell you, Manti, but it's not true that any publicity is good publicity, no matter what Chris Brown says.

But back to plausibility... is it plausible? Is it possible to have a long distance relationship with someone you've never met? I think it is, especially now when electronics are the communication norm (my old roommates used to sit in our living room and text...to each other...five feet away.) So, when someone is far away - whether the contact is by Skype, phone, letters, or Morse code - we fill in the blanks of what we cannot see day-to-day in front of us, we fill them with things we would like the other person to be. And we ignore things that should raise red flags. So, absolutely I think it's possible.

In Manti's case, he may have complicated trust issues (and this will not help them any) because of who he is and why women might want to become involved with him. This may lead him to approach a relationship from a different angle. He may have felt this was one of the few ways to ferret out who was real and who wasn't...okay, so that didn't turn out so well. So, yes, I think it's completely plausible that it went down as he said. However, four years...? Four years and you never got tempted to Google her or check her out on cheaters.com? I don't know...

 

Anyway, the more I hear of this story, the more it feels wildly invasive. This should have been a private story. This should have been something Manti Te'o was allowed to deal with in his own space without the whole world peering in and judging. The most the greedy public should have gotten was a cautionary tale, minus the names. Maybe even that was too much.

(original post: http://www.espn1100.com/Manti-Te-o-Looking-for-Love-in-All-the-Wrong-Place/11190684?archive=1&pid=291405)

copyright - All rights to the work posted on this site are retained by Cass Van Gelder. If you'd like to use some of my work, please ask. To do so, the permissions must be spelled out in writing...from me...I mean it. I have horribly mean cats; don't make me use them.